Family Grief & Remembrance in Verse

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Pompey, William the Silent's Dog carved into his mausoleum.
Pompey, William the Silent's dog, carved into William's mausoleum.
By Rijksdienst voor het Cultureel Erfgoed, CC BY-SA 4.0*

Grief has long found a voice in poetry. When we lose someone we love, words can help us remember, reflect, and begin to heal. For genealogists, grief doesn’t always arrive in the present. Grief often shows up in old records, fading photos, or family stories passed down. Writing poetry in remembrance of those who came before us, whether recent or long ago, can be a powerful way to connect past and present. This post explores how poetry has helped people express sorrow and remembrance through generations, and how you can use it to honor your own family history.

Loss is something every family experiences, and each person grieves in their own way. For many, poetry has become a quiet companion in times of sorrow. Whether it’s reading verses written by others or trying to craft our own verse, poetry provides the space to reflect on our losses, remember those we’ve lost, and preserve their memory in a heartfelt way.

Many published poets and everyday people have written poems to honor loved ones. Below is a list of poems and collections that center on grief and remembrance:

Poems & Books Focused on Grieving and Loss:

Note: The books are affiliate links. Nothing extra will come out of your pocket, but BooksAMillion will pay me for sending you their way. Thanks!

Newspaper Obituaries & Memorial Poems:

In the 1800s and early 1900s, it was common for newspapers to publish poems in memory of the deceased. These memorial poems were often written by family members, friends, or even anonymous writers. They usually appeared alongside obituaries or as standalone tributes in local columns.

These poems offer a glimpse into the emotional world of the past. They reveal how communities mourned and remembered together—and how poetry helped them do so. You might find phrases like:

“Gone, but not forgotten…”
“A precious one from us has gone / A voice we loved is stilled…”

These verses often include religious themes, expressions of eternal love, and hopes for reunion in the afterlife. If you're researching family history, keep an eye out for poetic tributes in old newspaper archives. They can offer personal insights that vital records never reveal.

True to form, what goes around comes around. Funeral homes now encourage the publication of "In Memoriam" poems in newspapers and for use in funerals. Some, like Dignity Memorials, provide examples to use. 

The image above is a memoriam poem to Catherine A. Minnich. It was published in The Standard, Lykens, Pennsylvania, on 17 October, 1930, page 1, column 7, Newspapers.com.

Elegy Poetry: Honoring the Departed

An elegy is a poem written to mourn and remember someone who has died. It usually moves through three stages: grief, praise, and comfort or resolution. This form has deep roots, stretching from ancient Greece to modern times.

Famous Examples of Elegy Poetry:

Elegies don’t have to be written in a formal style. A modern elegy might look like a free verse poem written for a parent, sibling, or friend. It may include details from your family tree or even draw inspiration from a death record, a cemetery visit, or an old photograph.

Checklist: Writing Poems of Grief and Remembrance

(Use this as a printable or copy/paste journaling guide)

☐ Who is this poem for? (Name, relationship, memory)
☐ What do you remember most about them?
☐ What was lost when they died?
☐ Is there a specific story, photo, or phrase you want to include?
☐ What emotions do you want the poem to express? (Sadness, love, longing, peace…)
☐ Are there religious or spiritual elements you want to include?
☐ What did others say about this person?
☐ Is there a line, quote, or image that keeps coming to mind?
☐ Do you want this to be private, shared, or part of your family history?
☐ How do you want readers—or your future family—to feel when they read it?

Final Thoughts:

Poetry has always been a thread in grief's fabric. Whether you're remembering a grandparent, a sibling, or someone long gone from your family line, putting your sorrow into verse is a way of keeping them close. As genealogists, we often feel the weight of untold stories. Writing poetry about family loss doesn’t just ease our own hearts...it can add depth, beauty, and humanity to the history we’re trying to preserve.

If you’ve written a poem of remembrance, consider adding it to your family history records. You may also want to share it at a reunion, on your blog, or with a younger family member who never got to know the person you’re writing about.

* I was shocked when I learned two weeks ago that William the Silent (linked to WikiTree) is my sixth cousin 15x removed. While that degree of cousinhood isn't that impressive, I was still taken by his life, and especially by his mausoleum. The carving of his dog, more than anything, humanized the man for me.

I wrote a shadorma, a poetic form, to honor this distant cousin. The shadorma, presumably a Spanish form, is syllabic. This means it's a tight sestet (six lines) that follows a format of 3/5/3/3/7/5 syllables. This poem doesn't have a title:

William
the Silent, distant
cousin, seems
more dreamlike
than flesh. Yet Pompey, his dog,
remains at his feet. 

© Linda Goin, 2025

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